So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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