And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
