How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
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