Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
