You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
Randomize
