dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
this just has baby written all over it
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
