glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I cockslap morals
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
