I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
