I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
