when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
