Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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