but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
