i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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