We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Can i not drive my cunt home
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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