oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
