Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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