well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
