If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
