Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
