So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
