we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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