i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
nutella sex= disaster
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
