dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Semen is not good for contacts.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
