Screwed.edu
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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