that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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