We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
