the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
