we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
4 words: hood of his car
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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