I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Randomize
