I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
well, you know. whores of a feather.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize
