it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize