I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
You dont lie about slip and slides
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
