You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
