Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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