what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
