Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
