I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
