I'm jealous of your bromance
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
