dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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