Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
