i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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