Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
