She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
