Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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