We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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