is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Randomize
