I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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