i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
