Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
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