i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
