Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
