The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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