Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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