Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
