It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
