dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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