who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
