Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Randomize
