Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
