last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
